Lucky :)

I never really have shown these pictures to anyone since I have had them... But it is me catching the bouquet at the first wedding Adam took me too almost 2.5 years ago now (the summer before nursing school began!)... How time flies!

I wrote this on 4/1/2010

I feel really lucky. I get the chance to wake up in glorious sunny California each morning. Sometimes well honestly, I find myself getting caught up in my own vanity. I see flaws, here and there but most specifically within myself. But then I am surrounded by so much love, love from the boyfriend, the family, my brother Jeffrey, love from friends close and far. It is such a blessing. A real blessing to be able to come home to somewhere warm, somewhere I can call home and be able to afford monthly within Los Angeles. (haha)

Today I biked down to the beach and it was remarkable. Simply beautiful. It was a tad windy but the sun was at full rise, a few girls including myself were able to even catch a bit of a tan. It was so lovely and sometimes I wonder how I can ever get caught up in such worrisome things about my own vanity, imperfections, things I look to improve without improvement being needed or necessary. I think sometimes we all get caught up in the little things and sometimes fail to see the beautiful wider picture of how lucky we all are.

As a student nurse, I would find myself in such sad situations. Families dealing with the inevitable death of their 18 yr. old daughter who is dying a death merely from the complications of morbid obesity. How lucky I was to be able to have a family that cared and could support my dreams whether it be playing basketball or doing theatre. How lucky.

With this said I hope everyone can make time in their busy schedules to just stop and enjoy the sun. Enjoy life and appreciate all we have. I go to work and get to see the miracle of a new child introduced into families. I get to see the miracles of families connecting when in all other situations might fight. I get to be there, I get to become part of that family during some of the most important memories those families will forever remember. I use to worry I wasn't using enough of my nursing skills and what kind of nurse was I being in postpartum... Some deem postpartum as one the easiest of the fields in nursing. A year in and not far from beginning labor and delivery, I again look back and wonder how I could doubt myself, my skills and skillset. But again, I am lucky. I love my job. I love being a nurse. I am lucky I can recognize that I appreciate having a job, an income and something I can honestly say I enjoy. I love connecting with people, families, grandparents, friends, co-workers and appreciating how fortunate my life is. I get to give hope and inspiration to families who might have thought the pregnancy otherwise. It is really cool.

We all do things in life that inspire us and keep pushing us along to look for the good out there and more importantly help us to appreciate how lucky we are. Maybe not everyone is in their dream job. But these days living in California, esp. SoCal and having a job is something to feel lucky about.

Well, if you actually read this whole thing well I am impressed and thank you for being a friend of mine. No matter how infrequently we might speak, I can assure I am thinking of you! I really appreciate that I finally have girlfriends! True, genuine, lovely, amazing, smart and talented girlfriends from basketball, UCLA, nursing school, lifeguards, Adam's friends girlfriends ;) and co-workers. It is something I think of often and these wonderful women always make me smile and feel like I am in a warm, fuzzy hug when I think of them. So thank you wonderful ladies and if we are speaking more frequently well we should be! I love much how much happiness you have brought me and I hope you know I really appreciate your friendship and miss you!